Have you ever been in that place where everything seems to be going wrong? No matter what you try, you just can’t seem to catch a break or get out of the shitstorm?

I have. There was a point, not that long ago when life decided to fling everything at me. If it could go wrong, it did – from things breaking down, to worsening health probs – you name it, it happened.

Perhaps you are in that spot right now. If so, you will know that the only way you can respond is…

“What the actual fuck is wrong with me, why is nothing working out?”

I did that (maybe added a bit more swearing!) and then proceeded to overthink and try to work out what was wrong with me and why I deserved to have all this shit happen.

Is this sounding more and more familiar?

 Why We Do That!


‘Expert advice’ will tell you, it’s happening because of all the negative thoughts, like attracts like and so on … what a load of BS.

Other ‘helpful advice’ will tell you to stop being so negative and be more positive and things will get instantly better … more BS

Maybe they mean well or perhaps they haven’t really been in it to know that the last thing you want to be told is to be more positive, especially when you don’t know how to.

All you want and need is a way out from this crappiness and not be waking up each morning with a ball of fear in your stomach, wondering if the day will be better or just more of the same.


The Way Out


I was lucky to come across a wonderful mentor and now friend Emma Holmes, who showed me how to start getting myself back to feeling like me and to get things finally working out as they should.

Now I’m going to share my own take on these little steps. No ‘happy-clappy’ do this for x number of days and all will be well in your world. Just solid, straightforward help that’ll give you a feeling that maybe this time, things will finally start to get better.


1. There is nothing wrong with you


This was the answer I gave to the lovely lady; I have been working with recently. She was convinced there was something wrong with her and she must deserve all this crappiness.

Nobody deserves that.

All that’s happening is up to this point you have gone through a lot of bad stuff that has worn you out, left you feeling empty, and going through the motions of day-to-day life.

Life hasn’t got it in for you, and just because things aren’t working out right now, doesn’t mean it will be like that forever (but only if you choose to change the story).


2. Take a step back

It’s common for when things go wrong to automatically write off the rest of the day and tell yourself you knew it was going to be shit day.

No! you’re not having a shit day, but you are having a shit moment. That’s all that is happening.

When it happens…

➡ Take a deep breath and mentally step back.

➡ Allow yourself to accept that what’s happened has happened, it’s not your fault, or that you deserved it.

➡ Deal with whatever has happened

➡ Have a brew (with optional cake!)

➡ Continue with the rest of the day


3. Just one thing – a practical way to show yourself some love & kindness

To avoid overwhelm and adding to how you feel, do one little thing, either each day or over the course of the week that will start to build evidence that you CAN do something for yourself, and you CAN have a bit of happiness.

They don’t need to be fancy, time-consuming, or expensive. Something as simple as a 5-minute walk around your garden or around the block will lift your mood and stop you from feeling stale and all ‘can’t be arsed’.


Final Thoughts


These little steps are NOT an instant cure but the beginnings of a journey that will allow you to move away from feeling exhausted and waiting for the next lot of shit to hit the fan.

Will they stop the days when everything seems to be going pear-shaped, absolutely not, BUT they will give you the beginnings of a tool kit that you can dip into when it does.

transformational coach

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