How do you start loving who you are?
The general advice out there gives you a long list – Don’t compare yourself to others, don’t worry about what others think, allow yourself to make mistakes, etc. BUT what if there was another way that actually started with the basics, that didn’t make it sound like ‘all you have to do is … and you’re loving who you are’, or sound like a quick fix?
There is! And it has nothing to do with self-love or how to love who you are. Why? Because to love who you are, you first need to know who you really are and what you are about. Once, you have that foundation, you continue making small steps of discovery, learning, and growing that will lead to the me you want to be and loving who you are.
Let’s start off with what is your ‘THIS’?
Your ‘THIS’ is the life you are in right now. It could be that you are holding yourself back, choosing to stay in your ‘comfort zone’ a place where you’d rather be, no matter how hard it gets, or how much of a slog it is. Preferring the safety of familiarity even though being there creates a feeling of every day having the same shit, this is my life.
Why do you stay there? Is it because you’ve shoulda, woulda, coulda that much you have no idea what you want, and even if you did you have no idea how to get there or even where to start? Maybe it’s because change feels scary, and a bit too much for you right now, or perhaps it’s because you have been told for so long what to do and how to be, that you’ve lost sight of who you really are.
All you know is that right now, life sucks. You’ve googled yourself dizzy and spent a fortune on self-help books trying to find the answer, the quick fix that will make all of what you are feeling disappear and make your life feel a thousand times better. But no matter how hard you search, or how much you read that fix feels just out of reach, why?
Quick fixes don’t work and won’t help you get to you get to the place where you love who you are, and know what you want and what you are about. All fixes do is make you feel good for a little while but never go into why or how you got to where you are.
These fixes come in all shapes. You might have seen them called ‘mind hacks’ or methods within self-help books.
PROBLEM -> METHOD -> PROBLEM SOLVED
Simply put whether you know it as a quick fix or one of the others, they only scratch the surface and never allow you to discover, learn, grow, or evolve. They don’t show you how to you got where you are and how to move forward. Instead, they focus on one problem with the idea that if it or something arises again you can repeat this one method, and hey presto! You’re good as new again.
But what if the problem that keeps coming up is caused by something else? What if the reason the general self-love advice doesn’t work is that you haven’t got to the root of who you are and what you are about. For instance, telling you to stop comparing yourself to others will only work if you have accepted who you are right now.
So no matter how many times you work on that comparison problem, it will keep repeating because you haven’t got to the root of what is causing it, which keeps you in a constant rut sticking wheel.
The first thing you need to do is make the decision that right here, right now you are going to back you. From this moment on, the focus is on what you want and how you want to feel. I know that sounds scary AF and getting to that point feels impossible. BUT if you break it down into simple little steps, and allow yourself to discover, learn, grow, and evolve, you will soon find yourself more confident and able to say YES to the things you want and NO to things you don’t.
You won’t have that ‘bungee cord’ yanking you back into your comfort zone the moment something doesn’t work out as it should, or someone decides it’s their duty to tell you how daft you are and what you should be doing instead.
Sounds amazeballs, right? So, before you start to overthink this and get a bit “um. I’m not sure” let’s dive into three easy steps to get that movement started towards the me you want to be and loving who you are.
Step 1 ~ Discovering who you are.
I know you will probably find it easier to say what you want – losing weight, a better job, more energy. BUT all of this is based around the shoulds, coulds, and woulds.
❌ I should get a better job as my boss is a jerk
❌ I could go to the gym, but I need more energy
❌ I would love to do … but I need to do or be … first.
All of these are keeping you stuck, beneath them is the fear that you’ll stuff up or perhaps a fear of being judged and criticised for wanting better for yourself.
So, to move away from that, you need to look at who you are right now and allow yourself to accept that in all its imperfect beauty.
Embrace whatever it is you are – are you clumsy? Got wobbly bits? Perhaps you are like me and get things back to front or swear a little too much.
All of what you are, makes you, you.
Step 2 ~ Ask a friend
It’s true that those closest to us, see things we don’t. I’ve had plenty ‘Aha moments’ only to be greeted with ‘thank fuck for that.’ Sounds a tad nasty but there is no malice behind it, just a loving reminder that what took me ages to see about myself, they had seen all along
I know that you are probably thinking this one is a bit pointless as they will only say it as they’re being nice or feel obligated BUT that’s your fear, the little voice that wants to keep you in the comfort zone.
So, go on DO IT, write it all out what they are saying and allow yourself to believe that it is true, and you are what they say you are – the hobby you’re really good at that could be a job, you’re pretty, you’re smart.
Step 3 ~ Knowing you are a work in progress.
This is the step that blows the quick fixes out of the water.
As you take more of these little steps of discovery, learning, growing, and evolving into who you want to be, you realise that when things haven’t gone as expected or you just have a really shit day, it’s not the end of the world, you haven’t failed or doomed to be stuck forever.
Knowing you are a work in progress allows you to move with the ups, downs, and everything in between that can happen on a day-to-day basis. It allows you to go ‘Ah fuck it,’ move through whatever is happening, and continue out the other side.
I’ve shown you simple little steps that have made not only change feel possible. but gave you a foundation to continue your journey of discovery, learning, growing, and evolving into the me you want to be and loving who you are.
Want to dive deeper into these steps? Grab my FREE Guide – Mevolution – Your Guide To Getting Clear On Who You Are & What You Are About
Change The Story You Are Telling Yourself
I see you.
You’ve got the house, car, job, and perhaps the dream partner but you feel empty like there is a missing piece. You can’t quite figure out what it is and keep searching for that one thing that will fill that space.
The Me-evolution ~ Your Guide To Getting Clear On Who You Are & What You Are About Ebook is a way to change all that.
What would life look like if instead of constantly people pleasing and dragging your ass through the day, you loved who you are, and felt alive as you lived life as the ME YOU ARE HERE TO BE?
Would you be feeling more confident in yourself, allowing you to say YES to the things you want to do and NO to the things that make you feel uncomfy and perhaps a bit resentful?
Perhaps you are beginning to have things working out as they should and not getting into a fangle if they don’t?
Are you out of that sticky rut you’re in that kept you stuck in that job or that relationship?
Is being who you are meant to be got you feeling happier because for the first time in a long time you are doing what is right for you and not trying to please everyone else?
You CAN be all of that and more!
It starts with one little step…
Fancy seeing you here! A big hello and a warm welcome if this is your first time here! I’m Sophie Paige, the lady (some say that’s debatable! 🤣) behind Raar HQ. Having lived most of my life being told I was worthless, useless, and would never be anything, I am on a mission, not to prove them wrong, but to show as many women as I can that they can break free from that and become this unstoppable force with a fierce fire, who allocates her fucks to the shit that matters.
There are stacks more to be found about how I can help and support you on the site, so have a wee nosy! You can get to know more ‘about me’ on the about page too! Don’t forget you can also find me on Social Media sharing the latest news from Raar HQ, hints, tips, help, and support that makes changing your story feel possible and that it’s not a hard slog or about making you all happy-clappy 🙄 It’s little steps leading you to a life filled with possibilities, hope, ups downs & everything in between!